Reflection

It is amazing to see how different two years can make.  On this exact day, at this time two years ago, the day was very similar to this day.  The sun was shining, and I had lots of plans on getting things done.  By lunchtime this day two years ago, I found myself separated from my husband.

By lunchtime today, I'm hoping we'll be enjoying our soup or whatever is on the menu.

Two years have gone by, and I am so thankful.  Thankful for what we went through because it made us both better people.  Thankful for how God has blessed us with a renewed marriage.  Thankful for a physical symbol of His faithfulness by giving us a child.  Thankful our relationship with God has deepened.

I find myself more in love with my husband every day.  Daily, I am able to watch him grow more and more as he becomes more and more of a man of God, and thrives in his new role as a father. 

Our love and relationship has deepened.  Our relationship has been through the fire, and we have come out of it more refined than we once were.

We are more grown up than we once were.  We are less naive and more on guard.  I pray more for my husband.  We talk more.  We confess more.  We pray together more.

As we have been going through our most recent bumps in the road, we always bring ourselves back to what we have been through.  We know if we got through that, we can get through this because we have seen God move in incredible ways over and over in our life.

What to write?

Do you ever have those moments where you read all those blogs of epic proportions and feel like crap?  It's like those moments where you step on the scale, realize all your hard work paid off and you actually lost one pound, and then you go shopping with your best friend who looks like a model.

Sometimes those incredible bloggers scare me almost to the point of deleting my blog.

There are times when I tell my husband, I don't have a lot of followers (not to undermine the one faithful follower I do have... thank you M!!) the other follower doesn't count because it is me, and I don't know how I started following myself, or how to stop?!?!

Wow, tangent.  Let me start that paragraph again.  So, there are the times where I whine to my husband about how I don't have a blog of epic proportions, and how I don't know if my writings sound too whiny, or if I am really trying to get my point across,  and why this, and that, etc and he looks at me with those incredibly sexy eyes and tells me "that's not why you do it..."

Dang, he's right.

However, that doesn't mean insecurity doesn't come in the way.

Why do I write?

Even though I love journaling, I haven't been able to do it too much since my son was born.  I have been able to blog.  Go figure.

I write because there is that calling on my life where I have been told many many times that I will be able to help people out because of all I have been through so there is that hope someone is being reached... and encouraged... and challenged.

I write because there have been those blogs where I have been reached... and encouraged... and challenged.

I write because I am an internal processor.

I write because even though I like to think I am anonymous, I am slowly peeling back those layers and starting to let people close to me know about this blog.  So in a sense, writing has allowed me to start coming out of my shell.

Why are we always so bound by insecurity????

So, it is in my insecurity that I ask this:  Do you mind adding me to your blog roll?  If you are not on mine, but would like to be, just leave it in the comments and I will add you.

I am a blog-surfer.  I love to go from blog to blog.  I sometimes end up reading the most random, yet wonderful blogs this way.

Yup... that's all I have to say.

Little Bits Of Happines

Today was a low day.

Not even due to the fact that we are car-less, job-less and every other kind of less that there is.  It was due to the fact that at church, I allowed someone to make me feel inferior.  I don't want to gossip, nor do I want to talk poorly about this person.  She is someone I have never gotten along with, and now I feel like she is completely up in my grill.

Needless to say, I felt like crap.  I do not have a nice word to describe this girl when I talk to my husband about her.

I have wasted too much time today hurting over the way I am treated with this girl.

But that's how my low started.

God has encouraged me so much to look for the little happy's He gives us every day.  Let me tell you, every day, we get many little happy's.

Spring is here.  It was 10 degrees today.  There have been times on this date years past where the weather is still in the -30 to - 40 mark.  A couple months back, a friend gave me money to go do something for myself so I got myself a mocha with raspberry in it today.  Let me tell you... nothing (and I do mean NOTHING) is better than chocolate and raspberry together.  It is a burst of flavorful happiness in your mouth.  We also discovered the art of putting our baby in a laundry basket.  We put a blanket in, put him on top (so there is padding for him) then put stuffies and toys in, and he is amused for a good hour.  It brings us joy as we play with him in his basket.

So, there are many little happy's in every day.

God showed me this week that it is brush strokes that make up a picture.  That's why it is hard to see the big picture right now because we are on that canvas, and our lives are being brush-stroked right now.

My husband is going to a career fair tomorrow.  Please pray he gets an amazing job!

I Have Reason To Praise God

I have reason to praise God.


I always do.

If I have learned anything through this time where we are being stretched to the max, this is one thing I have learned.

Praise the Lord.

Praise Him in the storm.
Praise Him in the valley.
Praise Him on the mountaintop.
Praise Him when life is good.
Praise Him when all you want to do is fall prostate and curse the heavens.
Praise Him... Praise Him... Praise Him.

The verse that has been going through my head since I woke up today has been Job 1:21 "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart.  The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

The last song we sang in church today was "Blessed Be Your Name."

My husband has no leads on a job, and we just found out our car needs a new engine.  Both things have been very discouraging to us.  However, we are thankful our car got assessed for free.  I am thankful for friends and their connections!!

We have our health, and the sun was shining today.

We are learning to praise God for the little things.

Like overalls.  We  were given some baby clothes that were a little big a couple months ago.  There were 3 pair of overalls in those bags.  My son has worn overalls twice this week.  I love my little man in overalls.  Thank You God for giving us overalls!!

If we didn't have many big things taken from us, we wouldn't be able to find joy in the little things... the things that truly make up life.  The things we take for granted.

So, we are learning to have a heart of thankfulness.