He is good, and He is God

Every time I sit down to write a new post I feel like I have nothing to say. There is so much going on around me that I feel like all the situations get jumbled into a big pile of crap and it is very hard to sort through that smelly, messy pile and put things into words.

Right now I am wrestling with things... and yet I'm not wrestling with things... if that makes any sense at all.

In the past month I have said goodbye to a beautiful girl who is now dancing in heaven, supported a friend as they contemplate divorce, given sympathy to another friend whose uncle was brutally murdered, found out about a mother of 3 young children who has been given 2 weeks to live and witnessed a long term couple break up.

Although some of these things would be good and considered healthy, other things bring so much pain to everyone and anyone who has ever been involved in these precious lives and relationships.

I find it interesting how I question God when life is down. Never when I'm on the mountaintop but always in the valley.

This past week, the post-partum depression has been kicking me in the butt. Hurting for all these situations has not helped at all either.

...And yet, I know God is always good. I know bad things happen to good people and it is not God's fault. I know we live in an imperfect, sinful world that is constantly swarmed with a spiritual battle... but it doesn't make this any easier.

I find myself holding my breath, waiting to hear the next round of bad news and begging God for the safety and health of my family.

But I still know He is good, and He is God.

He IS good, and He IS God...