Lessons Learned

I've been in a bad mood all week.

I hate even admitting this because I would love to be one of those wives with a perfect body, perfect hair and makeup and always happy. You know the ones... once Dear Husband arrives home, you greet him with a kiss and usher him through your perfectly clean home to the table, present him with the most magnificent 5 course dinner only talking about his day. And of course, once supper is done, he goes to the living room and puts up his feet while you clean up, and the children play quietly at his feet.

Yes, I am talking about an I Love Lucy re-run... I'm sure of it!

Well, I had my wake up call this morning... literally. My son woke up very early because he kicked his blankets off. As I laid in bed cuddling him, I noticed the time was a little over an hour before my alarm would go off so I decided to get up. I love these opportunities where I wake up before I normally do, and all is quiet because it gives me time to be able to think... and spend time with God.

I read my devotional book, and today's devotion hit hard. It talked about thanking God for the hard times, especially the times that keep coming back. To see it as an opportunity to learn new lessons.

Yikes!

I sat for a while really struggling with this. I did thank God, but I told Him my heart wasn't in thanking Him quite yet.

What would the world look like if we had more of a heart of thankfulness when we suffered instead of wanting to scream profanities at the heavens? What would our hearts look like? How would we react to others?

Do You Know Where You Will Go?

This morning, as my husband was reading the paper, he let me know that one of the most well known atheists died. I don't remember his name but what I do remember is the overwhelming sense of sadness I felt once I realized his opinion would have changed as he faces eternity in misery, pain and darkness.

Do you know where you will go when you die? I hate talking about death. I hate thinking about death. Maybe it is because I deal with abandonment issues, or maybe it is because I have been on the receiving end of losing a loved one and knowing the years of pain that come with needing to work through it. One thing I can rest assured of is I know, I will see my Dad again.

How many opportunities do we have to share our faith? I am a very shy person, and the thought of being bold is very nerve-racking to me, but I wonder about the opportunities where the actions are there. Being able to be kind at the doctor's office when your appointment was missed and you have been waiting for an hour, or if the service at a restaurant was terrible. What about the everyday moments when each person you encounter could be a brief opportunity to be the example Jesus called you to be.

So I will seize my opportunity via bloggerville: Do you know where you will go when you die?

I know.

I am far from perfect, sinning on a daily basis. But I serve God who sent His one and only Son to die for my sins so I could be forgiven, and go to heaven when I die.

I know it is GOD who created the heavens and the earth, (Genesis 1:1) and I know it is GOD who loved the world so much that He sent His only Son as a perfect sacrifice for our sins (John 3:16) Because of these things, I KNOW where I will go when I die.

Do YOU know where you will go when you die?

Losing Focus

Have you ever wondered why problems seem so huge sometimes? Like stuff keeps piling on, and you feel like you can't take it any more? And then one more thing gets piled onto this all ready overwhelming, overflowing pile and you finally break?

I had one of those moments a couple days ago.


When I felt like I couldn't go on any more, my husband and I sat down, and he realized the thing that we were missing the most in our lives was spending time with God.

Isn't it amazing how when we're running the race, all it takes is a tiny bit of turmoil to take our focus off, and we crash and burn? I seriously wonder if I will ever learn this lesson, or if I am destined to live my life as a wandering sheep who occasionally needs my legs broken so I can follow my Master again.

I also find it ironic that during the season where my focus should be on all that Christ has done for us, it is on "oh man, I have to buy this person a gift, and how am I going to afford a gift for this person..." I HATE consumerism!! My desire is for Christmas to be exactly what it is supposed to be. People coming together in love, and worship to God for all He has done, and blessing others. No more lists of "I want, I want, I want" just a simple "I saw this and thought of you because you are unique and I wanted to bless you with this..." and focusing on the time where we can all get together, laugh, have fun and truly thank God for sending His Son down to earth. The ultimate Sacrifice.

With now having a son of my own, I seriously wonder how it was done. I was adopted, and right after my son was born, I realized what a selfless act adoption is. I would NEVER want to give my son up to another family. It made me respect my birth mother that much more! Now, thinking about Christmas... God new what it meant when Mary got pregnant... His Son would come to earth to die the most painful death. What a sacrifice! It really does put John 3:16 into perspective. To sacrifice a life to save the world... but it doesn't end there. Performing a miracle, and Jesus rising again. I love it!!

It is amazing how when the focus is on God, how minuscule our every day problems seem to be. This too shall pass... bills will get paid, meals will be made, broken relationships will be restored... in one way or another.

How do you make Christmas special?

My Life On Display #6 -- What Separation Did For Me

I call those 4 months my husband and I were separated as the best-worst months of my life.

I got married very young. I will never regret that decision because I married the right person at the right time. With hindsight being 20/20, I have realized I was a very broken person when I got married. That made me an unpleasant person as crap from my past slowly came to the surface and I had to deal with it.

I had become very complacent as a Christian. I was working in a Christian school at that time, and seeing so much hypocrisy around me made me not to want to be around Christians... or anything like them. I had been hurt multiple times by my Christian friends and family... etc. I used this as a way to justify my back-sliding but really, I was just getting lazy in my walk with God. I remember thinking I needed a wake up call and knowing I didn't want one. Less than 3 weeks later, my world was rocked, I was alone, and the only place I could turn to was God.

I was surrounded by some very beautiful people who upheld me in prayer, who listened to me, and who eventually called me on my crap. Though these people weren't perfect and made some mistakes, I still was blessed to have these people in my life.

I read books, sought out counselling, and did a Beth Moore bible study. God made me whole. He made me a better woman, wife, daughter, friend... person. I would NEVER want to re-live this, but through this, God made me a better person, and I am thankful for that.

"He heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds." Psalm 147:3

I am not naive enough to say we are fully healed as a couple, but God did a mighty work in our lives.

Two months after my husband moved back home, I got pregnant. We have had many insensitive things said to us regarding the timing but we KNOW God answered the prayer I prayed 3 1/2 years before... "God, don't give us a child until this is dealt with..."