PPD = Prison...Prison...Daily

It happened... again.

Just today I was rejoicing over how I have had more good days than bad days and then it hit me hard. The dark cloud flew in and settled over me.

I just wish I could blow it away. I wish I could walk it out or read enough Bible verses to get rid of it.

I wish I didn't always crave the crap that acts as depressants. Come on... chocolate, any kind of sugar, and fatty food. Why is it that the stuff that tastes so darn good is the stuff that is sooooo bad for you?

I want it gone!

I am DONE with Postpartum Depression...

And yet it still lingers.

I'm tired of feeling locked in a prison while drowning.
I'm tired of feeling alone and unloved.

I know it is a lie, at least my head knows it. Travelling the 6 inches down to my heart... that's another thing.

It is such a battle. One that I must win. But having the energy and desire to fight anything is lacking.

There has been the attitude at times that I just need to "happy up"
... if only it were that simple. This isn't a comfort zone... it is a prison camp.

I want to be free!!