Accountability

I am a scary deep person. No, this doesn't come from a PhD in philosophy which would entitle me to a lifetime of arrogance. This comes from who I am. I desire to connect at a deep level with whomever I become friends with. I like to know how people REALLY are doing, and what makes them who they are in life. I like to know people's stories, how they got to where they are, and how their relationship with God and other people are doing. I think we have a lot to learn from the people who surround us.

With being a deep person, I long for accountability.

I can be very cynical and even negative at times, but that truly isn't who I am. It is when I'm hurting and wresting with things that come my way, but I truly love to see the sunny side of life. I also know that always looking for the sunny side can turn into being a fake person whose "life is always good," and who has no problems. I can see right through people like that, so I never want to be that way. I definitely swing to the other end of the spectrum at times. Neither are good.

In highschool at youth group, camps or youth rallys we were always encouraged to "have an accountability partner" which would usually last two weeks. The typical conversation being the following:

Accountability Partner: "So, how are you doing?"

Me: "Fine..."

AP: "How's your relationship with God?"

Me: "Fine..."

AP: "Anything you're struggling with?"

Me: "Nope" [insert pinnochio nose growth as the lies grew bigger and bigger, but really, who wants to tell their accountability partner anything... they might *gasp* tell your PARENTS!!!]

And then we would get up and move on with our day.

Throughout life, there have been similiar conversations where we have accountability partners for dating to ensure things don't go too far. In my experience, those have never lasted too long either because people were too afraid to dig to the deep questions. Instead of asking "have you struggled or gone too far" the questions should have been "what are you struggling with, or how far have you gone?" Make the person you're supposed to keep accountable squirm... then they might think about not caving under pressure...

But really, I'm longing for this.

I want people to call me on my crap!! How else am I supposed to grow? So to you, whoever is reading this, I ask for accountability. Call me on my crap. This definitely is a venue for venting and growth, but how else am I supposed to grow unless people challenge me in every aspect of life?