There's something very poetic about searching images on google. Being able to see through a photographer's eyes as there are many different angles and views. Even if there are many photographers taking the same picture, no two pictures will be alike.

I find the same thing with all journeys we are on. People might have experienced the same, or at least similiar situations, but my life is not the same as any other person's life.

Right now, I'm struggling. I have points where I feel like I'm drowning.

I have Postpartum Depression aka poopy poop poop.

I have times where I'm fine and happy, and then BAM!!! I'm hit with an all time low and it takes me a while to get out of the funk. It's hard feeling like no matter how much I pray or listen to worship music, I am imprisoned in this. Now, I am a firm believer of God being able to heal, but I also know we need to go through things to get stronger and to be able to help others through the same thing. After all, we're supposed to shoulder each other's burdens. It is definitely easier to have compassion when you've gone through your fair share of crap.

The thing is, when I feel like I'm drowning, and no one is throwing a life line. I feel all crapped out. I don't want to have to deal with anything else, I just want an easy life... at least for a while.

I know, I know... here comes yet another person who is talking about the way they're suffering. I'm not suffering. I don't live in a 3rd world country. I don't have an abusive husband. I don't live in a place where I'm at risk everyday for my faith. I do live in a world full of sin that cause people in my life to make bad choices and therefore molded me into the person I am today. I spent the first 2 months of my sons' life super stressed out because I didn't want to turn into some of these influential people. During this time I was also fighting my doctor saying I wasn't depressed when he saw I was. Praise God for giving doctor's wisdom!! I have a lot of stuff to work through, but I desire to. I desire to be free and whole. I know we won't be completely whole until we reach heaven, but at least I can strive.

Counting my blessings, I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, an amazing husband and a friggin awesome son. I have freedom of speech (hence a blog where my cynicism seeps through a bit... I'm working on that) and I have God. I could spend all night talking about the blessings I have, so that's a very good thing.

So to those of you who are reading... do you mind throwing up a prayer for me? For my husband and I as I fight through PPD, and that I can break the chains of generational abuse? For freedom?

Much appreciated.

Peace out.